I am part of the problem. I am the system. I am a big red stamp on a small snapshot of experience. For years, I've stood on my soapbox talking about how awful the system is that labels and medicates children without taking time to build solid professional rapport and understanding, without having time to have an appropriate and functional level of understanding of a child and their experience. Now, I work as a part of that system. Granted, I tend to defer to whatever diagnosis has already been put in the system for people--children and adults, alike-- and I avoid diagnosing children whenever possible; but for several months now, I have been taking part in what I believe to be a systemic flaw and a huge disservice to the people I'm charged with helping: diagnosing them based on a single assessment, the equivalent of a snapshot of their life. For the first time, I am ashamed of doing a part of my job. I am ashamed of this requirement to diagnose seemingly for no better reason than it's "always been that way." I want to know who to write, who to talk to, who to hash this out with so that my opinion on the matter has at least been heard. The system won't change unless we change it, right? I remember talking to my first internship supervisor about the system needing to be flipped on its head with less emphasis on medication and more on counseling... or at least equal emphasis.
Sigh. So many challenges in this system, and this is just a part of it. Love my job. Love the people I get to work with-- both colleagues and clients. Sometimes, it just kind of sucks when you remember that you're wading through some bureaucratic shit stew.
Oh well. Still going to do my best to remember to be a part of the change I want to see, rather than just a cranky cog in the system.
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