An acquaintance messaged me today. He's having a rough time with life and wants some direction because, to him, it seems like I have it all put together. I wish I had all day to sit and write without distraction, but I don't. Critter boy is at daycare, and I was planning to take today to get life back in order after returning from a trip out west to see Sunshine's family. I was also hoping to have ample time to just write... or watch movies... or nap... or do absolutely nothing. Somehow it doesn't happen that way. So, I'll sum it up with this, and I'll tell him probably the very same thing:

Those who've only met me within the last few years only see the last few years. They don't see ALL the wrong turns prior to the last few years. They don't see the work, the breakdowns, the depression, the anxiety, the drunken stupors, or all the people I've hurt while stumbling through life.

People also don't know, unless they happen upon these ramblings, how much I continue to think about death even as life is good. Note, I do not think about suicide. As my therapist confirmed, the way I think might be somewhat unusual, but not bad. Not dangerous. Not sad. I think my thoughts about life and death actually help me do what I do for a living; but that's all a post for another day, assuming I find the time and the clarity to write again before baby boy Critter is grown and gone. This post started months ago!

As for this evening, peace out and keep passing go.