suicide and giving away power

We all hear of people--and maybe you're one of them--who talk about eating shitty food and smoking and drinking and not exercising because they say they'd rather live a short life enjoying these things and being stationary than live a long life of movement and exercise without them. It's a compelling argument, I'll agree, (and I am certainly not without my own vices!) but also an incomplete one. As far as I'm concerned, how long you live is beside the point. The real point is that neglecting our health means we could potentially live just as long, but with far more discomfort. Both my grandmothers and my paternal grandfather serve as prime examples. We're not just taking years off our life so that we just all of a sudden blissfully croak 15 years before we would have otherwise. We're poisoning ourselves, so that our bodies won't function. In neglecting our health, we're living a half life. We're living a debilitated life. We're choosing to live in discomfort, relying more on largely unnecessary medications* than preventative care (i.e. taking actual care of our bodies). Neglecting our wellness isn't just taking life for granted. It's taking our physical AND emotional comfort for granted. Yes. Our lifestyle choices DO, in fact, have an impact on our emotional wellness in various ways. Body and mind: connected, ya'll.


*For the record, I DO believe in the need for medications in some contexts! My point is that we are seriously and pitifully overmedicated for ailments which are largely preventable through lifestyle choices. 


Along these lines, it's not just about us not taking care of ourselves. I also think of people I've known who've attempted suicide. What happens when it's a failed attempt? What happens when the overdose only serves to cripple them, but not kill them? Then, they are at the mercy of the hospitals, which, as we've already discussed, will keep us alive indefinitely. In taking life for granted, they've ultimately given up their power and their option to choose life. 


So, what might we say to someone who is actively suicidal and can't even begin to imagine there is still light behind the clouds? How might we empower that person, rather than condescend and patronize and try to control? Show them their power. Show them their options. If they die or become incapacitated, they take away any and all other options. In trying to gain control by taking life, they actually lose control. In their current situation, show them that death is just one of many options, and it will always be available to them. No one can REALLY stop someone who is set on taking their own life, but maybe we can help them take the time to look at all the options... and in taking time and opening their eyes, they might see that light peek through after all. They might realize their own power and hope. 


I say all this because these stories are close to me. Just about everyone with whom I interact on a daily basis has been inundated with suicidal thoughts at one point or another. One person-- who is one of the most candid, sweet, determined people I've ever met-- find herself blinded to all other options, personal strengths, and coping strategies when faced with major life stressors and symptoms of illness. It takes hard work to fight off that blindness, and I've seen her do it, living to see day after day of laughter and connections. I've seen her and many others, against all odds, find their resilience and continue to pass go with gratitude and strength in their hearts. 


Whether the notions of one's imminent death are active and suicidal or passive and manifest themselves in poor lifestyle decisions, it's all connected, emotionally and physically. Eat better. Do better. Feel better. Pass go.