some thoughts on Morrie...

So many people are terrified of dying. More than that, though, I think people are afraid of living. We seem to get so caught up in living perfectly that we forget that there's no such thing. At any cost, almost, we try to avoid looking silly or being wrong, and in such avoidance we end up missing out on life. Our hearts are closed. We don't call attention to ourselves. We don't want to dance because we might not have rhythm or we may stumble or we don't know the right moves. We don't sing for fear of being off key. We don't try new things because we might not get them right. We are prideful. We don't open ourselves up to all the possibilities the world has to offer. We fight love. We see assistance as an affront to our independence and autonomy. With all that said, if we don't know how to fully live, how are we supposed to know how to die? Then again, Morrie postulates that knowing how to die is the answer to knowing how to live. 


     Morrie’s revelation was born of the fact that he felt like he was lucky. Given his drawn out death sentence, he was grateful to have time to continue learning, to teach what he learned, and to say goodbye. Not everyone gets such an opportunity, which is why the lessons he taught are so profound and pertinent to not just dying well, but to living fully without regrets like pride, vanity, and hardness of heart. In the end, not everyone gets time to forgive themselves or others. He felt lucky to have a chance to atone for some of his regrets, to forgive others, and to forgive himself. This lesson suggests that one of the greatest tragedies in death is the legacy of regret that stains all that is left behind.

       With this in mind, the world is not going to stop. Responsibilities, pride, and social norms will always have pull in the decisions we make—Morrie spoke of the “tension of opposites”—but, in order to live happily, we have to decide on our priorities. “Love is the only rational act.” He suggests that fulfillment and meaning in life can only be manifested through love—love not limited to family, friends, and community; but extended to our lifestyle and actions and how those things reflect back onto ourselves, our family and our community. For example, juxtapose Mitch with his girlfriend. Mitch gives up music for a lucrative career in sports media. He makes work a priority and loses touch with those and that which are actually most important to him. He loses touch with his music, Morrie, his friends, and he almost loses Janeane. Janeane, on the other hand, while her story is not as detailed as Mitch’s, loves to sing, so she makes it a priority. She also loves Mitch, so she tries to make him a priority. She structures her life so that everything that is important to her—everything she loves—has its place. Thus, she has fulfillment through love. Mitch gets his priorities confused in his misconception of what it means to “grow up” and has to relearn that lesson.

      But why does he get confused? Because to love and be loved is frightening. It takes courage to love work that might not be lucrative or successful. It takes courage to love a community that might disappoint you; and it takes courage to love people, knowing that you could lose them at any moment. It takes courage to risk failure. Loving leaves a person raw and exposed to all the emotional elements, and our society is uncomfortable with strong emotion. Thus, there's a lot to be afraid of in fully living and loving. Failure and loss are very real things, but without taking the risk of encountering them, the lives we lead are empty of meaning. We spin our wheels until we die, never having experienced anything of any substance.

            Morrie understood that death was the last journey in life, and he faced it with courage, pizzazz, and dignity. He made his death just as meaningful as his life. He used his life to experience joy, to teach and be taught, and he did the same thing with the process of his death. He filled his life with meaning through relationships, education, experience, laughter, food and dance. He saw life as a journey, and I won't argue with that. Life is our journey. Death, ultimately and without escape, is our destination. The decision rests in our hands with regard to how we experience our journey and, inevitably, how we die. We have the choice to make it a joyful, playful, loving, fulfilling, meaningful, musical, colorful journey. I believe that the more color with which we paint our lives, the more meaningful our death becomes. Morrie’s colorful life became his meaningful journey into death that has, throughout the years, continued to teach and touch those willing to listen. 

      And I'll end with a song that's been in my head, if you'll humor me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTZS3K0xa9I