And then there are mornings like today, where anxiety washes over me as I realize I have been feeling fundamentally happy. I realize I've been starting to fly again.... which has historically ended in a devastating crash and burn. Weird. I guess I am one of those people now who finds herself afraid to be too happy. I don't think I used to be like this, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe because I don't think I deserve it. Maybe I don't feel like I have much to offer someone else's happiness. Maybe I think anyone in their right mind will tire of my imperfections, faults, and quirks. Maybe I'm a novelty. Not a staple. Maybe I think happiness is fleeting. I guess this is where caution bleeds over into just plain irrational fear and I feel the hobgoblins scratching a little louder.... And maybe I shouldn't have posted this.