Grumpy Cake

Yesterday was rough. I don't think I can narrow it down to just one thing, so here's what I think was the recipe for the weepy, anxious grumpy cake I must have eaten yesterday:

1. a dash of crusty, left-over social anxiety from lovely dinner guests the night before
2. a healthy dollop of feeling utterly worthless as a result of: a) not being able to sufficiently contribute to the financial stability of the household, and b) not having a single damn thing to do at work. Not. A. Damn. Thing.
3. a small heap of frustration that I'm paying for supervision, but hardly accruing any clinical hours toward full licensure, due to the lack of clients and referrals from the partnering doctor.
4. a sprinkle of despair at the irrationality of looking for another job with only 5 months to the arrival of Critter.
5. two pinches each of fear, dismay, and disgust that the world into which I'm bringing new life is becoming increasingly more of a narrow, shallow, dirty shithole with minimal hope for environmental or social redemption.
6. a spoonful of other, miscellaneous irrational fears
7. and one drop of hobgoblin residue

Finally, fold in a stubborn pulled muscle that inhibits movement, a body that doesn't feel like mine, what I can only assume to be wacky hormones, and too much time to cook it all together and--VOILA-- a big ol' soggy, stinky grumpy cake.

So far, while the ingredients for a grumpy cake will always be at hand if I choose to get them out and make one, I think I had my fill yesterday and I'd like to pass go with something better on my plate today.